When Life Gives You Lemons

Sometimes life hands you lemons. And sometimes those lemons make freaking chocolate cake. You know what I mean? Like, maybe the most bitter circumstances can create the most beautiful beginnings. Or something that was too hard or too heavy or too much transforms into that one lesson that significantly changes everything. I saw this quote and it just felt right. It was one of those thoughts that makes your bones tingle.

For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn't understand growth, it would look like complete destruction. 

-Cynthia Occelli

I feel like a bit of a construction zone these days. I am just grateful that despite every lemon and all the cracks, He is there. He is there to give us glimmers of hope and to bind us up when that beautiful beginning is nowhere in site.

The Cat Walk Waddle

I walk. 2 miles 5 times a week. Today while I was walking my jam, my tune, my beat came on. Immediately following the first few notes my head perked up, my posture was a little better, and I most definitely felt my typical waddle turn into something more like hips swinging.

It was an out-of-decade experience. I was back in the Miss Salem pageant. It was the swim suit portion of the competition and I was rocking a flowered number with a fresh spray tan. 

I was in the middle of cat walking the parking lot when I looked down and realized: I can't even see my feet without kicking them out in front of me, I'm closer to what husband weighs than I am to my pageant body, and if I start swinging my hips too hard I might fall over. (My center of gravity has shifted these days and sometimes I forget that.)

I never went so far as to day dream of completely changing sociatal norms and competing with a belly, don't worry. But the fast and hard hit back to reality wasn't discouraging, and it didn't stop my swinging hips. 

For everything we're told about how our bodies should look, I felt proud of mine even though it doesn't fit the mold. You probably won't find me in a body-judging competition ever again. How would they rank my stretch marks?! But you want to know something? I'm proud of every last one of them! My feet swelling twice their size doesn't really freak me out either. So I can't wear my wedding ring right now, and my ankles aren't really definable. I still feel proud of this body. 

This body that is so unique and so powerful. This body that is able to create something that might have my eyes, and husband's nose. This body is creating something with the ability to think and reason for itself. 

I'm as much of a sucker for a good fake tan as the next girl, but really?! What my body is doing now rocks the pants off Miss Salem or maybe even Miss Universe. So don't think for a minute that I stopped cat walking until the very last note of my tune. 

A Short Stranger

A midget genie is coming soon. Husband's fortune said so. 

Or maybe it's a baby. Either way, I can't wait. 

Snoogle: Part II

Getting a package with the infamous crooked smile is always thrilling. This time it was life-changing. Inside that box is a "Schnoogle" and the key to my sanity. Thank you Amazon, thank you in-laws, and thank you Leachco for creating the most satisfying sleep available to this 7-months pregnant gal. It's literally like being wrapped in a hug by my own personal cloud. ALL. NIGHT. LONG.

I get all tangled up in this pillow every night. I have to untangle myself from the pillow at about 2:39 A.M. every morning for a hobble past a sleepy Ted to the potty. Sometimes I get lost in the tangle and JR doesn't realize I'm still in bed. Not that having a wife lost in a giant pillow changes anything...Just adds to the sleep infused confusion of a waking husband when the belly finally emerges from the depths of a pillow.

There is just no end to the varied positions the Schnoogle provides.

As if their pajamas didn't look comfy enough, right?! Right. I'll leave you with this little gem, compliments of the internet:

Test Driving

Here are a few things I learned much later in life: 

1. L.A. has two NBA teams
2. Hair product is actually developed, marketed and sold for a purpose and should not be ignored
3. A single-seater inner tube is not considered a personal flotation device in the eyes of the law, specifically the Utah County Highway Patrol
4. You should always wave to beauty queens on parade
5. This world is full of very high-tech strollers. I'm talking HIGH. TECH. as in, ultra maneuverable, hands-free, push one button and the whole thing folds in on itself, basket extending from thin air but still somehow attached to wheels kind of high tech.

Shopping for a car seat and stroller was...hard-ish. I spent a lot of time researching the benefits, safety ratings and features of a million and ten different options. Then we took it real time. We're talking date night at Buy Buy Baby. It took us maybe one or two tries, or a little more and maybe we had to YouTube how to actually work the combo we picked.

I've forgotten it all by now, but I think we both agreed on our final decision. Now we're just waiting for it to go on sale...!

Puppy Cuts

Ted doesn't shed. As it turns out, this is a miracle that I think is greatly under-appreciated in the dog world. Can you imagine vacuuming couches everyday? The trade off I assume is cutting all the un-shed hair on a fairly regular basis. The cut-at-home option is literally too dangerous for Ted. It's been known to result in a slit neck, hind leg and belly. We stick with a paid professional. GG is the best dog grandma in the world. She's helped with Ted so much since we got him, and puppy cuts are no exception.

Our pet would, of course, require a vet-prescribed sedative and a muzzle to maintain control with said paid professional. He's not as innocent as he looks, don't be fooled. But he does look much better with his hair done. He even looks like he could have graduated puppy preschool, right? Also an illusion.