When I asked JR what he wanted to accomplish in the next year of his life his response was; "sleep a little more and drink a little less." Oh brother. (that's a loosely quoted lyric to a country song BTW)
Well, husband. Here are my wishes for you always, but especially now around the day you were born:
I wish for you to grasp a sliver of the love from a son who adores you. A son who regularly tells anyone who will listen; "My dad is big and strong." He wants to be just like you in every way. Unless you're being Tow Mater...Then he would rather climb onto your back and have the ride of his life. His bike is a motorcycle, his play time almost exclusively consists of "fixing" everything. From his favorite song to the cologne he asks for before going to church, his complete conviction that his Little Tyke's car is a truck to his love of sports, he worships you. You are everything to him.
I wish for you to know how much I depend on you. You have dried tears born from a broken heart and perpetuated laughter into gasps for air and more tears. No one has stretched me more. No one has known or loved the parts of my very soul that you have discovered. You are my rock. You are my life and my entire world.
I wish a year full of adventure and risks, heart-stopping risks as you dream your biggest dreams and watch them all come true.
I wish for you to have quiet times of peace and self assurance. To look introspectively and really notice that your life has been built on loyalty and goodness, acceptance, hard work and honesty.
Happiest of birthdays, Mr. Sandoval. May all your wishes come true. And mine too! I do love you so.
Tuesday, July 18, 2017
Monday, July 10, 2017
Promises
I know that my God is a keeper of promises.
By making me wait or plead or grieve and plead some more, my life has been uniquely constructed to become a significant answer to many prayers uttered, cried and incoherently thought.
“When our days become dreary with low hovering clouds and our nights become darker than a thousand midnights, let us remember that … [God] is able to make a way out of no way, and transform dark yesterdays into bright tomorrows.”
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
I am ashamed to admit that recently in a moment of weakness I metaphorically shook my fist at heaven and between sobs "yelled", "Is (fill in the blank) really not as important as learning to trust You?" As soon as that barely lucid thought was produced, I felt ashamed but also filled with peace. Ashamed because, duh. And peace because it was also a moment of crystal clarity. In that moment of self-discovery, I saw definitively what He was trying to teach me.
That's never an easy lesson to learn, but I'm working on trusting You.
By making me wait or plead or grieve and plead some more, my life has been uniquely constructed to become a significant answer to many prayers uttered, cried and incoherently thought.
“When our days become dreary with low hovering clouds and our nights become darker than a thousand midnights, let us remember that … [God] is able to make a way out of no way, and transform dark yesterdays into bright tomorrows.”
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
I am ashamed to admit that recently in a moment of weakness I metaphorically shook my fist at heaven and between sobs "yelled", "Is (fill in the blank) really not as important as learning to trust You?" As soon as that barely lucid thought was produced, I felt ashamed but also filled with peace. Ashamed because, duh. And peace because it was also a moment of crystal clarity. In that moment of self-discovery, I saw definitively what He was trying to teach me.
That's never an easy lesson to learn, but I'm working on trusting You.
Merriest of Christmases
2016 is the first year I have done a Christmas card! I felt so grown up...
The Tree of Life at Draper City Park. Michael thought the lights were cool (said a swear word when we pulled up. That was not awesome...and where does he get these things?!) but he really really loved the hill at the park. He spent most of the night making himself dizzy rolling down that hill. Before each and every turn he would arch his back and throw his head back and around to get the rest of his little body to roll. It was hysterical to watch. Once he made it to the bottom he could barely stand up, A. because his coat makes limber movement difficult, and B. he was so dizzy he was walking sideways.
Trains. I guess it comes with raising a boy; trains are kind of a thing at our house. A big thing. This little boy's whole little heart is dedicated to trains. The Polar Express has been big for us this year. He shouts; "All abbbbbbbooooooaaarrrrrrrd" (even nails the low to high inflection of a true conductor's voice) and regularly asks to punch our tickets-- "Tickets please! Tickets!" He lines up the kitchen chairs, or if that seems too hard, the kitchen rug becomes a train. I sit with him on the kitchen rug a lot and my little conductor makes our train ride the best, every time.
Pa had a beautiful train set around their Christmas tree this year and Michael LOVED it! Watching his face as his eyes followed that train around the track was simply magic. He loved to point out all the little figurines that made up a Christmas village around the track. That Christmas train was a special place for Michael this year.
I guess it wasn't too hard to decide what to get him for Christmas. He is so careful with his very own train table, and I must say I am very proud of the track configurations he comes up with regularly. Of course he owns that conductor thing with his personal set...
The Nativity has always been special to me, and I think having my own little baby boy somehow makes the story even more significant. This year Michael and I worked on a project to color different characters of the nativity and talk about each one. It was a fun activity for us to do together, and besides his clear artistic talent, my favorite part was him calling the wise men, "wise things".
For us, Christmas Parties are always a fun way to show our family and friends we love them. We had our annual cookie exchange and Santa visit at our house this year. We also played a game called Heads Up that turned into quite the hit, and very much a spectacle. Our friends, the Zamoras also through an Ugly Sweater Party that is always a fun time. (the picture below). Then of course the extended family Christmas parties make a good excuse to see all the long-lost cousins.
Overall, the Christmas season was a beautiful time filled with good friends and family and never enough glitter. Along with all the goodness of the season, unfortunately came some anxiety and panic attacks for me. I don't know that I could really pinpoint a source, but it was hard! I felt like I was grasping at anything that would help me feel the calm and peace that I wanted to feel for the season. Somewhere along the way I found a quote that I clung to through the weeks of Christmas time, and ever since.
Gosh I really love our pictures! I just adore Christmas cards from friends and family, so it was fun to contribute our own to the mix this year.
Some other highlights of the season...
Pa had a beautiful train set around their Christmas tree this year and Michael LOVED it! Watching his face as his eyes followed that train around the track was simply magic. He loved to point out all the little figurines that made up a Christmas village around the track. That Christmas train was a special place for Michael this year.
I guess it wasn't too hard to decide what to get him for Christmas. He is so careful with his very own train table, and I must say I am very proud of the track configurations he comes up with regularly. Of course he owns that conductor thing with his personal set...
The Nativity has always been special to me, and I think having my own little baby boy somehow makes the story even more significant. This year Michael and I worked on a project to color different characters of the nativity and talk about each one. It was a fun activity for us to do together, and besides his clear artistic talent, my favorite part was him calling the wise men, "wise things".
For us, Christmas Parties are always a fun way to show our family and friends we love them. We had our annual cookie exchange and Santa visit at our house this year. We also played a game called Heads Up that turned into quite the hit, and very much a spectacle. Our friends, the Zamoras also through an Ugly Sweater Party that is always a fun time. (the picture below). Then of course the extended family Christmas parties make a good excuse to see all the long-lost cousins.
Overall, the Christmas season was a beautiful time filled with good friends and family and never enough glitter. Along with all the goodness of the season, unfortunately came some anxiety and panic attacks for me. I don't know that I could really pinpoint a source, but it was hard! I felt like I was grasping at anything that would help me feel the calm and peace that I wanted to feel for the season. Somewhere along the way I found a quote that I clung to through the weeks of Christmas time, and ever since.
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