Blessings

Here we are. First day back to work, and done. Did that 12 weeks go by lightening fast or what?! Going back to work has incidentally been an opportunity to glimpse how much my Heavenly Father loves me. Surprising? I thought so too, and I'm grateful He even allowed me to see it.

I have been praying my stinking guts out everyday since this new little human joined our family. "please help me be calm and at peace when I go back to work." And every single time I thought about it I would get sick and worried and nervous and all the synonymous descriptions. There have been tears and sleepless nights and guilt. Lots of guilt.

But today was a good day. My pleadings were answered, and I felt calm and at peace the whole day. I hope it continues once the novelty of starting back wears off.

Blessing #2: It really helps to know that Michael Blake (who I may have started calling Tres, as he is the third Sandoval in a row named Michael...) is loved and cuddled and taken care of by his sweet GG while I'm at work.

Blessing #3: My job has been so flexible and fantastic to work around my new major life change. I work from 7 AM until noon and then take a few hours at home sometime during the remainder of the day to make up my full time hours.

Unfortunately, I have allowed myself to feel inferior for circumstances of late. Inferior and robbed of validation for my experience with pregnancy, childbirth, even my baby's temperament. It could all be labeled "easy." Finding myself back at work has also given me an inferiority complex. It's likely a self-imposed feeling of insecurity, but it's real.

All I can say is that God indisputably knows what I need. During the months of pregnancy my little family faced heart wrenching struggle. He knew that I needed to be strong and healthy to fight my best fight. Call it an easy pregnancy. He knew that my recovery would be difficult and feel eternal, but He made it effortless for me to enjoy my son from the very first day. Call it an easy baby. He knew that short term disability would only pay for 6 weeks paid maternity leave, not the full 12 that we expected. Call it an easy delivery, but it caused enough damage to grant a claim extension for the full 12 weeks.

I was reminded recently that everyone has a unique and personal dish of life experiences. I may not wear my challenges for all to see, but I assure you I struggle. I know you do too. And as private as some of my struggles are, it reminds me to never assume that easy or charmed is the life sentence for anyone else. All I know is that this is my life. It is a good life. A full life. A beautiful life, filled with love and blessings and challenges and disappointments. This is my life, incomparable to any other life, and I choose to live it.

Bedtime for Boo-ga-loo's

Going to college at BYU-Idaho ensures you have church leaders encouraging habits like apartment prayers. In every place I lived, we were never any good at apartment prayers. It always dissolved into laughter if we ever managed to remember in the first place. Great idea, lousy follow through.

The one thing I do remember about collegiate bedtime was late night talks, cold cereal always, mattresses pulled into the living room, going through each closet one-by-one until every last roommate found that perfect outfit for the boy in art history class... But more often than any habit of prayers or cereal or clothes, the time to slumber was announced with; "bedtime for Boo-ga-loo's!" 

Melissa Pelfrey's mother was a wise woman who kept her girls respectable by telling them when they looked like "little floozy's" and always putting the babes to bed with talk of boo-ga-loo's. Thank goodness Melissa passed the wisdom to her roommates, and if we're being honest, their posterity by association. 

All this talk of bedtime... I hope I don't jinx it, but someones little boo-ga-loo burrito has been sleeping through the night! 

Cousin Time

As if being pregnant with two of my sisters at the same time wasn't fun enough, now we have three new cousins to triple all pregnancy fun. And maybe kidos are a little bit more fun than pregnancy ever could be. 

The futures of these three cousins, all within six weeks of eachother, has already been discussed in great depth. They can all get baptized together, they'll go to prom at the same time, they can date eachother's friends, start college together, Michael and Porter can beat up Maelyn's bullies (although she may very we'll have that covered with her current growth trajectory...). Let's just say these parents are planning on having best cousin friends for life. 

We have had some great cousin time lately. Cousins at the zoo, conference cousins, pool time with cousins, and lots of cousins snuggles. But really, you don't have to take my word for it. A picture is worth a thousand words, right?!

The bears at the zoo

Cousin slumby?! Maybe a little early...