They Say...

They say it takes longer to feel boys kick. I'm still waiting...

They say to warn my significant other and plan to cry a lot. Once, I was told by someone I'll consider a witch doctor, that I have the largest heart wall he's ever encountered. A heart wall, according to the witch doctor, is an emotion block built as a result of past experiences, allergies, bad energy. Maybe it's still there. Or it's grown bigger. Or I have a boy inside me and he is helping me balance my emotions. Whatever it is, I'm not crying. Only two times.

They say your hands and feet will swell. Hello 16 weeks, 6 days and warm February weather. It's started. I don't wear my wedding ring anymore. I'm trying to tell myself it's the increased circulation from all the walking I've been doing lately. Should I just be honest and call it a byproduct of pregnancy? Cause they're real fat.

They say there's something called round ligament pain. If that's a fancy way of saying your stomach is punching itself from the inside, then yes. Check that one too. That happens to me.

They say to exercise at least 30 minutes everyday. The number of times I walk to and from the bathroom everyday I'm pretty sure adds up to at least that.

Then they say, your exercise should be intentional. Dang. I take it intentionally relieving myself to avoid embarrassing pee-pants doesn't count.

They say you're only really eating for 1.2. WHAT?! What is this eating for two lie I've been told my whole life? And how are you supposed to pack all that protein and calcium into one day? I might as well eat liver giblets and cottage cheese all day. Nothing else.

They say no one will ever love me like my child "because they hear your heartbeat from the inside." While a tender sentiment, doesn't a stethoscope do the same thing?

They say motherhood is next to Godhood. Maybe because you love something so much it's literally incomprehensible. Maybe because something that brings you so much joy can also be the source of desperate heartbreak as you watch them suffer. Maybe because you get to teach a new little person to take on the world and then you have to trust they will always come home without forcing them to do it. Whatever the answer is, Michael Blake is a blessing for letting me experience it all for myself. Yes, all of it.