Dear Michael Blake

Michael Blake,

This is your mother. Listen up. You might start getting these letters a little more frequently as we get better acquainted. Don't go all teen-angst on me just yet. At least let me get through a few of these first.

Until a few weeks ago, you have not been a completely registered reality. It has been fun to test drive strollers with daddy, and think about paint colors for your nursery, don't get me wrong. I've learned that I hate the shoulder fold-over onsies and eventual mommy-hood has opened my eyes to 1,001 new things to worry about. But with almost no pregnancy symptoms, and hiding you from the world for the first four months, you just haven't seemed real.

I've been filling my life and what's left of my brain (you've taken a lot of that) with facts about pregnancy; finding answers to why my body is changing in such strange ways. I've cried because I'm getting fat, and I've cried because I can't sleep. I've even cried from laughing too hard.

I guess I have always known that you are the reason for all these changes and tears and worry and trivia. But my relationship with you as a little person who will soon be a big part of my life has never made it much past what this pregnancy stuff is doing to change me. Until lately...

When I think about being your mother, and when I feel your little kicks (when aimed at my organs instead of my belly I can feel you like an electric shock through my whole body) and sing to you (leaving out any suggesting lyrics, of course) or when I pray for you and plan the ideal future for you, pregnancy becomes much more than a list of quarks and the newest milestone to blog about. In these moments, I become more of your mother, and you become more than just the reason my body is changing.

You already have a place in our hearts and it's changing our little family. My sweet little boy, here are a few of my wishes for you:

• Love God first
• May you be confident and kind, and always know how much you are loved
• Learn to be respectful and a true gentleman
• Be as loyal as your daddy and always be tolerant of others

Love,

Mom